On how to ace public speaking

Overcoming that urge to vom.

Most people I know HATE public speaking. Be it a presentation to a small group or to an auditorium of 1,000, the idea of standing on a platform with everyone’s eyes on us can be vomit-inducing. This idea can be particularly horrifying for AuDHD folk, who will have decades of trauma linked to destructive criticism of our behaviour.

Unfortunately, having to speak to an audience comes up more than we might think, from presenting at a job interview or promotion panel, to talking to clients, to running a training session. Whatever our life’s path, there’s a good chance we’ll have to talk in front of people at least once.

As an AuDHD person who has spent most of her life masking, I’ve learnt a few tricks that mean I now not only do public speaking, but I (mostly) love it. Here are 4 categories of things I do – hopefully some of these will be helpful for you too.

Build your style

Start by thinking about your personal style. Do you like sharing statistics? Or do you talk in anecdotes and stories? Do you make unusual analogies to simplify complex ideas? Are you someone who shares positivity? Or do you come alive when you are waking people up to a different way of thinking? Think about what comes naturally to you.
Spend time building your ‘Presentation persona’. Watch TED talks of your favourite speakers and observe what they do that is so engaging. How do they show their enthusiasm? What slides/ flip charts/ props they use? How are their stories and statistics structured? ‘Try on’ different personas and see how they work for you. It’s imperative that they work with and enhance your personal style.

Do some mental reframing

Positively frame and channel your feelings. The feelings of nervousness and excitement are actually one and the same, but with a different mental framing. Are you nervous or are you excited to share your current hyperfixation or special interest? Have the positive interpretation at the front of your mind when you step onto that stage. Audiences respond much better to joy than to nerves.
Decide that listening to you is the most engaging thing the audience will do that day. Another reframing technique that gets you out of your head is to focus on the audience. Think about what feelings you want them to have. Joy? Excitement? Worry? Outrage? At what points in your talk can you bring those feelings to life, in your words, images or even vocal tone so that this emanates out to the audience and brings them along with you?

Practice practice practice

Write, reduce and practice your script until it’s memorised. Doing this allows you stop overthinking about what you’re going to say and gives you the brain space to focus on your communication style. It also allows you to flex to changes, from last minute tightening of schedules to someone asking a question.
Practice how you will ‘look’ until you don’t have to think about it. Similar to the words, work on your facial expressions, vocal modulation and body language, especially to emphasise certain points. Words are only 10% of communication, after all. P.s. If you’re on a stage, things like eye contact aren’t as important, so do things like look to the back of the room to save you that particular trauma.
Prepare answers to questions you may be asked. You may not be asked the exact questions you prep, but it’s good practice think through the themes that people will want to know more about or challenge and to have answers ready to hand.

Remember…

Remember that people aren’t judging you as much as you think. Most people will be in ‘listening mode’, wanting to receive your content in a way that emotionally engages them. They will unlikely have a clipboard marking you on public speaking style specifics. They certainly won’t be going with even the intention to judge you anywhere near to the extent you judge yourself.
Remember that you own the conversation. The roles in public speaking are clear. You talk and people listen. You can even tell people when they can contribute (e.g. asking questions at the end, not during). They are here to see and listen to you – you are the one with the power!

Public speaking is constructed using neurotypical norms that can be exhausting if not harmful for those who identify as neurodivergent. However, hopefully these tried and tested tips will help you do the public speaking thing in a way that leverages your neurodivergent strengths.