University of Brighton fine Art (Painting) submission

That’s what rules and routines are for!

The other day a friend shared with me this video and it made me stop because my brain had blown a fuse.

From bestselling books to philosophical quotes, we’re told time and again that habits are the key to ultimate success in life. But no matter how hard I try, I just CANNOT form any habits. Instead I have routines and rules that I consciously enforce to ensure that I do the things I need to do on a regular basis.

How about you? Do any of these sound familiar?

• ‘Habits’ feature as activities in a routine, meaning if the routine is disrupted, so is the activity. E.g. If you go on holiday, the change to your nighttime routine means your teeth don’t get brushed.

• You can’t stick to a schedule, so you create rules and goals instead. E.g. ‘do that exercise you like 3 times per week’, because you can’t stick to/ feel trapped by a regular scheduled exercise class.

• Changing/ introducing a habit means changing a whole routine. E.g. you like the idea of eating more salads, but that means having fewer samefoods, as well as altering your food-buying and -making routines, which is just too much change.

• Not being able to envision a different future is probably not helping. E.g. you want to message people more, but your morning routine is so ingrained that you can’t imagine how it could possibly be any different.

• Your only real habits are your stims. E.g. rocking, hair twirling, nail picking are self-soothing activities that, to paraphrase the quote above, are something you do often and regularly without always knowing you’re doing it.

AuDHD brains DO do habits, but we don’t structure them in our lives like neurodiverse people do. Therefore, if you’re thinking about introducing, changing or eliminating a habit from your life, consider it in the context of your routines and rules, the impact of the change to your wellbeing, and be patient with yourself as you undergo your habit-changing journey.