University of Brighton fine Art (Painting) submission

It’s just one big ball of social obligatory stress

Personally, I love Christmas. I love any opportunity to dress and up and eat food and have fun. However, I also find it very challenging. Be it the bright flashing lights and obnoxiously loud Christmas music in stores, or the obligation to eat food and wear clothes you can’t stand, or the pressure to mask, and sacrifice your bank account and needed alone time on the altar of ‘family’ – the holiday season can be overwhelming. Here are some ideas to manage during this time:

1. Set your rules for engagement. What do you need to manage your energy on Christmas day? Clearly communicate your needs to create an experience inclusive of you. Do you have routines or safe food that you need to maintain? Can you remove the scratchy Christmas jumper/ paper hat after an hour? Do go along with traditions that you enjoy, but draw the line at what causes you distress.

2. Create an escape plan. What are the different ways you can emotionally plan for stressful situations? What is the earliest time you can exit a Christmas party? If you can’t leave a gathering, how can you make mini ‘escapes’, like go make a tea, sit outside for a bit, read your book, or put in earplugs/phones? ‘Escapes’ are about mitigating overwhelm and they are mandatory for your wellbeing.

3. Be a tyrant with your diary. The holiday season gets booked up fast and comes with a high level of social obligation. What does your wellbeing need and how does that translate into diary management? What can you cancel in advance? What can you make shorter? Actively book regular time for yourself and treat it as as much of an obligation as your social plans.

Remember that Christmas ‘traditions’ aren’t neutral activities – they reflect the neurotypical preferences of local cultures. Your needs are valid and the response to ‘but family’ justifications is that you ALSO count as family and therefore your needs should matter just as much during this time. It is not an unreasonable burden to anyone to communicate your compromises – what you are doing is creating the opportunity for you to have as much of a joyful holiday period as everyone else.