University of Brighton fine Art (Painting) submission

It’s not the same as sympathy.

That autistic people have no empathy is a big fat horrible myth. So horrible, in fact, that it can get in the bin and set itself on fire. Here are some ways autistic empathy can show up:

• Offering to do things. We often don’t understand the right words to stay (cognitive empathy) or show the right facial expressions and vocal tone (motor empathy), so instead we may offer to do things for you (compassionate empathy). These can range from offering a cup of tea to filling the car up with petrol so you don’t have to worry about it.

• Sharing a similar story. This is not an autistic person ‘making it about themselves’. This is a sign of solidarity and another example of compassionate empathy. We’re telling you that we feel what you feel and understand where you’re coming from (we may also be thinking the social ‘rules’ are to share stories).

• Becoming overwhelmed. Sometimes we feel what you feel so much that we become overwhelmed. We may strongly feel your feelings (affective empathy) or even feel them as a physical pain (somatic empathy). Because our feelings can be intense, we may become overwhelmed by them and shut down as we can’t process them.

We DO have empathy, especially compassionate and affective empathy – it just doesn’t look the same as neurotypical empathy. Importantly, people often confuse cognitive and motor empathy with sympathy. This is expressing pity for someone else’s situation but without necessarily relating to the person’s feelings. This leads to autistic people also being accused of lacking in sympathy.

Just remember, the way we empathise is as valid. We might have to explain to others that we show it differently, but it’s important that we remain true to ourselves and work to our strengths when it comes to empathising and showing compassion for others.